


After Horizon: Letters to the Dead

by Toastybluetwo



Series: After Horizon [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-25
Updated: 2012-02-25
Packaged: 2017-10-31 17:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/346663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toastybluetwo/pseuds/Toastybluetwo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a small ship, word gets around. The fact that Commander Shepard and Kaidan Alenko had an altercation on Horizon is no secret. This series explores various characters’ reactions to the events on Horizon.</p>
<p>An email to the dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After Horizon: Letters to the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place shortly after the events in After Horizon: Got Your Back and the day after the Horizon mission in Mass Effect 2. (Femshep/Kaidan isn’t mentioned at all, but is certainly in the background here.)

To: Petty Officer Scott M. Shepard

From: Commander Gabrielle A. Shepard

Subject: [none]

 

Your address is still open and active after sixteen years. Shocks the shit out of me. Also shows me that the Alliance really has no idea what’s going on in their own infrastructure.

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I think about that discussion you and I had, the one that encouraged you to take your shore leave on Mindoir instead of out on that tropical island paradise. I’ve forgotten what planet you wanted to go to. I used to remember those last few weeks before the Mindoir attack as if they happened yesterday. My memory isn’t as good as it used to be, Scott. I don’t know if it comes from getting old or the fact that I left a portion of my own brain down in the wreckage of the original Normandy. Miranda assures me that I lost no critical brain mass and that the implants in my head should take care of any damaged neuron functions, but some days, I’m not sure if I believe her.

You came home because you wanted to talk to Martin. I wish I could have known what you two talked about when you two went out for dinner together at Godfrey’s Saloon. Martin sure wasn’t talking. He didn’t seem to be upset, so I assume that you didn’t threaten to bloody his nose if he hurt your baby sister. You were just looking out for me. It was good to have my big brother watching my back in those days.

I know that you died. I watched it happen. I used to hold out hope that Martin was still alive somewhere in the universe, but over the last few years, I’ve given his memory the peace he deserves. Almost no one has survived this long under the Batarian slavers.

I don’t need someone to watch my back anymore, Scott. I don’t need my big brother to threaten to give a bloody nose to any boys that might break his little sister’s heart. It would be nice, on occasion, to have someone to be completely honest with. I am incredibly fortunate to have a ship filled with people who are as diverse as the worlds they come from, and count some of them among my friends and strongest allies. But the relationship that we had, even though you were so much older than me, was special. You didn’t care that I used to tell you the secrets of my army action figures and about the ‘classified technology’ aboard my model starships. You just cared that we were talking. I admire that. I miss that.

I sometimes wonder what rank you would have been now. Whether you’d be married, have kids, where you would have been stationed. What kind of life you would have led. Whether I would have made you proud of me, or if you’d give me an earful if you saw some of the bullshit I’ve done in the past few days. Hell, I’m not proud of myself.

Shit, I told myself – no. I’m not going to feel sorry for myself. Fuck that. You know what, Scott? I have thirty minutes until I’m supposed to report to my post. I’m going to stop this useless whining right now and go have breakfast with my crew.

I swear that I smell pancakes and maple syrup. If there’s fresh coffee, I’ll give the cook a pay raise. If the Illusive Man doesn’t like it, he can go fuck himself.

If Martin is with you, wherever you are now, tell him that I’m still as stubborn as ever. Tell him that I remember what he told me the night before the attack. That people come and go, but you’re with yourself forever, and that’s the person you have to be completely honest with.

I love you,

Gabby


End file.
